{Tyler} A Little Piece of my Heart.

So I realize we haven't posted on our fun little blog since Valentine's Day. Geez, has it really been two months? A lot has happened in two months. My mind (and my emotions) has been a mess this morning and I needed somewhere to collect my thoughts. So I thought, "Why not here? Why not share with everyone?" I've never been a secretive, keep it to myself kind of person. So why start now? So today, I am going to share a few little pieces of my heart with you. Bear with me, because this will probably be kind of scattered.

As most of you may (or may not) know, Jessica and I have made the decision to close the storefront side of Blithe Boutique. This was maybe one of the (if not THE) hardest business decisions we've ever made. It's very bittersweet. We are so excited for what the future holds for us and for Blithe. Our Downtown Lufkin storefront is where it all started. Our humble beginnings. So at the same time, it's hard to walk away from that. It makes it a lot harder because everyone immediately thinks we are going out of business. To clarify, that is NOT the case. This is a CHOICE we are making to better our business and to better ourselves. This is what we WANT to do. This is really what we have always wanted to do. We joke a lot and say that our family should have been a band of gypsies. It's true really. We thrive on things like scouring Canton for a great deal or traveling a couple of hours to check out a great estate sale. We love to be on the road. I want to show Knox (and our future children) the world. This gives me that opportunity. I get to spend more time with him and I get to do more things for and with Clayton.

Even with all of the good that is coming from this, my emotions seem to be getting the best of me. I stubbed my toe and tripped this morning and burst into tears. I mean, really? I'm tired, I'm stressed. Pity party, table for one please. I know everyone has been there at some point or another. And we all get through it. But do you know what I realized this morning as I was sitting in the middle of the floor crying like a toddler? I'm trying to get through all of this on my own. My "duh" moment came when I realized that God is waiting patiently for me to give it all over to Him and to trust that all of this is HIS plan for me. Not mine. It's not up to me. So I sat on the floor and I cried and I gave it up to Him. And you know what? I feel a whole heck of a lot better. It's been quiet in the store this morning, so I've spent my time talking to God. Just chatting. Catching up. You know, the usual.

On top of everything that's going on business wise, my baby sister leaves today for Georgia. From there, she will leave for two and a half years to share Jesus with the people of NosyBe, an island off of Madagascar. I am so in awe of her and her willingness to go where God has called her. That being said, it didn't really sink in that she will be halfway across the world for two and a half years until last night. I realized yesterday that Knox will be almost four when she gets back. I realized that there will probably be a second Pavlic child who will be well over a year old. I know that sounds selfish, and I don't mean it like that. It just makes the time frame seem so real. So yeah, that's probably not helping the emotional issue.

With all of the voting and talk of marriage equality lately, I just kind of sat back and watched things unfold on Facebook. For these kinds of this, I go to The Basement. (thanks again Jen Hatmaker) My favorites were the posts that said things like "I keep my religion and my politics off of Facebook." I share my life with all of you on Facebook. I share my son, my business, my family and I'm sure plenty of things that I shouldn't share. Why wouldn't I share my Jesus with you? He IS my life. No, I don't share politics. Really, I try to stay out of politics altogether. I know where my salvation lies, and it's not in politics. Okay, that was random and I'll get off that soap box now. Onto something else random...

Last weekend was Easter. This post by Jen Hatmaker really hit home. I've told a couple of people that I feel like she lives in my heart and my mind. It's so true. She says everything that I think and feel. I struggle with how to present Easter to Knox as he gets older. I don't want to take the Easter bunny away from him, but I want him to get it. I'm currently taking suggestions on that one.

So with that post in mind, I went to one of my dearest friend's weddings Easter weekend. I always get teary at weddings, but this one was especially emotional. I had Easter on my mind already and the incredible sacrifice that was made for me (and for you) and then the pastor started talking to the bride and groom about what having a Godly family is all about. He told them that as much as their precious little girl is the center of their world, God needs to be even more so. Another "duh" moment for me. Jesus.Comes.First. When God is at the center of your marriage, everything else works out in His timing and in His plan. Even when Clayton and I fight, even when I get so frustrated with Knox that I want to give him away (no, of course that never happens)...God HAS to be at the center. Nothing will get better if he isn't. Someone told me when we first got married that in year three we should see a marriage counselor, and they were dead serious. I understand why now. Sometimes you just need little reminders about what it means to be a good, Godly spouse. And a good, Godly parent too.  Disclaimer: There is nothing wrong with our marriage! This was all just a nice reminder.

Okay, I think that's it for today. If you made it this far, I'm impressed. Like I said before, totally random. But this is my heart!